Movie :: Adopted

I rented this movie from Netflix this week as it is actually required watching for some adoption agencies and I figured we should watch it. We got home from work last night and watched it while we took turns on the treadmill. it was a quick movie at 1hr 20mins so by the time Bryan got off the treadmill it was over.

This film shows the vast difference between the old way of interracial adoption [colorblind] and the new way [embracing the culture]. The documentary follows the story of a 32 year old woman adopted from Korea into a Caucasian family, as well as a 30something couple adopting a baby named Roma, from China.

The Korean-American woman (Jen) is talking about her issues with feeling like she had to hide her ethnicity. She tries to talk to her parents about her biological ties and culture and they continue to ignore it stating that they are doing the best that they can and that they were raised to not see color. Jen is suffering from many issues and it comes out in many destructive ways in her life. The bottom line is that she had struggled with identity and self loathing because she was made to feel that she was white and that she fit in and wasn't different. She struggled with the grieving of her birth family because her new family was only interested in celebrating the adoption. Jen, fortunately was blessed with a brother who understands how she feels and supports her in trying to talk to her parents. Unfortunately, Jen comes from a generation where it was thought best to talk little of the adoption or biological culture for fear of offending or making her feel different. The problem is that when Jen looks in the mirror she sees that she is different, but being made to feel that different was taboo had made her feel shame.

On the other hand Roma's parents are embracing her culture. They are taking classes on attachment and race issues and seem to be wanting to combine not only Roma's culture but all of their family's cultures into their family. Roma's parents brought me to tears many times because not only are they going through a similar process as us, but they have had heartbreak from failed pregnancies that have brought them to a greater place of desperation. So in their story there is loss on both ends, and though that may make it harder to get through the barriers they will also have a greater understanding of the loss each is going through. At the same time, many of the things that Roma's mother said are things that I have thought and felt. I related much to her, though we are in very different situations, because the current process (which embraces multiculturalism) is something we are both experiencing.

So, being colorblind clearly has problems. I also think that being set apart as different to an extreme can have its problems. But I believe there is a healthy balance, similar to Roma's situation, where you honor the cultures, acknowledge and comfort the loss, talk about things as a family, but also acknowledge other differences in the family. For instance, the difference in the backgrounds of Bryan and I, or the different shades of our skin or our eyes. The beautiful differences in our family is what will make us interesting to each other. We can love and appreciate them but I think once we make it clear to our child that we can talk about any of these things, and teach them what a beautiful culture they have, then we will be able to adjust based on our child's personality.

I definitely recommend this movie to anyone adopting. Even if its what you have heard before it is good to see personal stories reflecting what we have read in books.

Music :: Steven Curtis Chapman - Meant to Be

My favoriteististist :)

Movie :: A Walk To Beautiful

So I just finished watching "A Walk To Beautiful" which is a documentary about a obstetric fistula hospital in Addis. The movie follows the stories of a handful of young women who have experienced stillborn pregnancies that resulted in fistula causing incontinence. The women are then ostracized from their family and community.

One woman told how her husband threw her and her child out on the street and found a new wife. One woman had been living in a makeshift straw hut behind the family's home because they didn't want her in the house due to her smell and leakage. One 17 year old girl (pictured above) had been married off by her father from the age of 8-11 four times and she kept running off. Her father would beat her and find her a new husband, at age 11 her fourth husband got her pregnant at which point her 5 days of labor destroyed her bladder and they were not able to heal her. I wanted to hug her and take her home all at the same time. She is the same age as the youth that I work with, and I can't imagine my girls going through such a life.

This movie brought me to tears many times, and has inspired me. I hope to find an organization such as this hospital in Addis to not only give to myself but to encourage others to. I definitely encourage you to watch the movie. It is available on instant watch with netflix - which you can get a free 2 week trial to. So theres no excuse not to broaden your understanding of other cultures. It is also available on amazon to purchase.

Purchase A Walk To Beautiful (100% of the profits are donated to the Fistula Foundation)
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Movie :: Lost Boys of Sudan

We watched this movie this morning after a run to the craft store for more jewelery pieces. We had many surprises and had no clue how much we would like this documentary. I was crying for about 75% of the movie and the waterworks started within minutes of the beginning.

The movie follows the story of a number of boys, mostly Santino and Peter. The boys, amongst thousands, were part of a village raided by Fundamental Islamics who waged a violent war against the Christian villages in the southern Sudan. The fathers were killed, and the women and children were mostly "used" and killed as well. Many of the young boys were tending goats and such outside of town and ran away. These runaway boys are called The Lost Boys of Sudan and those that were not shot by the enemy, eaten by lions, or otherwise passed away in the journey made it to a refugee camp. This refugee camp allowed for some of the boys to then immigrate to the US and start a new life there. There was hope of schooling and they called it "heaven on earth".

The first thing I heard while hearing these boys say that it was heaven on earth in the beautiful landscape of Africa was - "oh my - I hope they werent disappointed when they arrived". Yes we are the land of plenty, but perhaps not in the way they are used to, and the beauty that is Africa and the culture that is the African people I thought would be missed when they arrived. Yes there was a chance for a better life but would these boys who spent their lives in Africa really think America was heaven.

Sure enough as you follow the paths of Santino and Peter you see that though some of the boys make the most of their opportunity, others feel cheated and become angry. You see some of them slowly Americanize some in good ways, others not. I recall one comment of the boys "forget Africa. We are in America now." I hope that we can keep our child from forgetting Africa and keep that culture alive in our family. I don't want JT to ever forget Africa once he is an American. We will be proud of our son's homeland and culture and hope that we can teach him to be as well.

One of the things I really enjoyed in this movie was the personality of the African. Interestingly, I was showing Bryan a free ap I have on my phone that allows you to choose a country and get tidbits about their culture. While we were driving home from Michaels Crafts I read them to him. We talked about how men walk holding hands or arm in arm when they are close friends or family and that that is kind of neat that they are comfortable doing that. Then in the movie you saw much of that, and then the boys in their apartment said they could no longer do that in America cause it meant something else here.

But the thing that stands out to me overall is the way people treat each other. When Santino was packing to leave for America he gave all of his important possessions (a ripped pair of shoes), schoolbooks, etc to his friends and told them over and over how much they meant to him and how he would not forget them. The affection that the African people express to each other fills my heart.

There were beautful moments in the beginning at the going away party where they sang songs like "Jesus Christ is in my hand. SPLA is in my hand". And funny moments when they got on the plane and they said "it shakes my stomach" and were intrigued by the airplane food. Or when they teased each other for getting big bellies (not by our standards of course).

Loved this movie - and highly recommend it.

God Be With You. All The Time.


To donate to the Lost Boys Fund:
Simply make a check out to “IRC – Sudanese Assistance Fund” and send it to:
IRC Atlanta Resettlement Office.
Kensington Office Park, 4151 Memorial Drive
Suite 201C
Atlanta, Georgia 30032

Movie :: To Live And Become

So I watched Live and Become this morning instead of taking a nap after a late night and early morning youth camp visits. I was already in an emotional mood after watching the funeral services on the news for the two cops murdered in Tampa this week... So watching this movie at that time certainly didn't slow down my waterworks.

PLOT :: A brief rundown of the plot is that the boy, known as Solomon, gets sent to Israel when his mom tells  him to pretend to be another woman's son and is directed to pretend to be Jewish so that he will have a chance at life. This is based on the true situation of Project Moses where many countries helped to try and return Ethiopian Jews to the promised land. He ends up getting adopted, after that woman's death, by a couple in Israel who love him as their own. The movie shows Solomon's struggle at hiding his true identity, learning to become who he would be as an adult, which is a culmination of his true self and who he claimed to be.

I was surprised when this movie started to find it was french, hebrew, and amharic but had english subtitles. Though it made it a little harder to follow I soon got used to the subtitles. Many reviews I read before the movie exclaimed that this 140min movie was not favorable received I really enjoyed it. Clearly you need to be able to put up with the subtitles, but then that adds some authenticity to it. I would love to see a version done in English.

Overall I recommend this movie, especially to someone with an interest in Ethiopia. Make sure you have time to sit and watch so you can read the subtitles (not a multitasking movie). As my plan of resting my eyes while watching clearly didn't work out when I noticed the subs.

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Movie :: Cry Freedom

So, if you hadn't noticed I have developed a slight obsession with movies about Africa over the past few months. Particularly Ethiopia of course, but there are only so many I can find on Ethiopia in english. So when Netflix offers me a movie regarding apartheid in South Africa or troubles in Uganda click click to my queue. The latest installment was "Cry Freedom" with Denzel Washington (gush).

The movie is about a man named Steven Biko (Washington) who was a black nationalist during the 70's segregated South Africa. This is a true story based on the books Biko and Asking for Trouble written by journalist Don Woods, who is played by Kevin Kline. The movie shows Biko being jailed and killed for his political beliefs and desire for equality in S Africa. Woods is initially skeptical of Biko but when he meets him and they become friends Woods learns more about his homeland than he wished to know. This film, from 1987, earned Denzel his first Oscar acknowledgement.

Though I knew of issues in South Africa, ie Nelson Mandela and Invictus, I believe I got more of a history lesson in this movie than I have had so far. I am looking forward to watching more movies about Apartheid and hope to learn more about what it was about and how it came to an end.

You can watch this movie streaming on Netflix here
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Movie :: War Dance

I watched this movie on Netflix today and now my heart is broken. It tells the story of children living in a camp in Uganda during the civil war. The children tell their stories of abduction, hiding, watching their parents murdered and chopped with machetes right in front of them.

One 9 year old boy was forced to murder people and become a rebel soldier. Though he is now safe in a government protected camp he suffers great sadness remembering what he was forced to do. This is just one of the many stories told in this documentary.

The bright side is that these children are going to a school in their camp where they learn music and dance. They are preparing for a national competition. Though these children are all suffering so much and holding burdens they should not even know of, their faces light up when they play their instruments, sing, and dance. One of the teachers mentions that it is important for them to sing that it is very therapeutic. Which makes me think about how so many music and art programs are being removed from schools in the US due to a lack of funding and support for them. Clearly even while living in a camp moved from their own homes for their safety these schools recognize the importance of the arts.

The joy and spirit from the Uganda people in spite of their circumstances makes me feel ashamed for begrudging any of my struggles in life. The huge smiles of these children will stay in my mind for a long time to come.

Movie :: The Last King of Scotland

The Last King of Scotland is a fictional story based on real life events. Forest Whitaker plays Idi Amin the real live President of Uganda from 1970-1979. He won an Academy Award for his performance. James McAvoy plays Dr. Nicholas Garrigan a fictional character.

When Ida Amin gets in a car wreck, Dr. Nicholas is summoned to assist him. Ida his quickly taken with Nicholas and a few days later offers him the position of his personal Dr. After Nicholas accept the job he quickly gets sucked into Ida's world and slowly starts to realize that Ida is not the nice guy that he knows, but a brutal, cruel leader who killed an estimated 100,000-500,000 Ugandans during his rein.

This is a good movie. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good drama.